The Day I Lost it in Costco or The Day I Got Super Nanny in Trouble

As I mentioned, there has been some fire in my life.  This has led to some emotional days.  Some emotional subjects, and some emotional outbursts.  The latest one was, sadly, in a very public setting.

The children and I were grocery shopping at Costco.  We'd gone to the Asian food store that morning, then ran to the mall to exchange some recent ill fitting purchases, then to the bank to open a savings account for my oldest (only to realize that, duh, she needs her ss# with her!), then BACK to the mall to have lunch with my husband, and finally to Costco.  By this time, we were all a little tired of running around as a group in public.  I was having to repeat my famous line, "walk behind me in a row, not around me like a crowd".  Trying to get 4 kids, no matter how well behaved, through the tangled web of people at Costco is always a chore.

My children LOVE that Costco has samples, as do many adults I know.  I abhor them.  They cause traffic jams and make me feel guilty about eating an advertisement and then not buying the product.  Thus, my children have to ask before taking samples and even with that permission tend to feel a bit guilty about it.  Did I mention we'd JUST ate lunch?  Another reason I dislike the sample gallery.  I tend to eat things when I'm not hungry if they're offered to me.. I need a "no soliciting" t-shirt while walking through there!!

Any-who, we had made it through produce, deli, and were into the frozen foods section, the "gauntlet" of samplers and shoppers.  I'd said yes to some samples, no to others.  We came up behind a woman sampling egg rolls and on the other side of the aisle, a man was sampling some other food.  Their tables made a narrowed aisle so I asked Naomi to go in front of the woman's table and grab a different package of spring rolls than the indigestion inducing egg rolls the woman was sampling.  I received a text from my friend about our running date that was in about an hour, and was replying and told the other kids that yes, they may sample the egg rolls from the woman in front of me.  She did a lovely job of announcing her product, British accent and all.  I was texting, Na came back with the spring rolls, I had the kids get "behind" me, and we began making our way through the little aisle space between the two tables.  As we were passing, I happened to see one of my kids swipe a second sample off of the tray.  We continued walking and I pulled that child up and was correcting their swipery when all of a sudden I hear from behind in a crisp, clear, beautiful English accent, "Not ONE of those children said thank you!".  By this time we were about 15ft from her sampling table.  (I'm shaking again just typing this and it was three days ago!)

I turned around, walked back to her table and said shakily, "If you have a problem with my children, I'd appreciate you talking about it to me, instead of announcing it to the rest of your customers!".  She proceeded to argue that she hadn't announced anything.  When I repeated her words she again argued that she wasn't telling the customers. I replied telling her how far from her table I was when I heard her exclamation of my children's lack of manners.  She followed that with, "Well, I try and provide a service with manners and appreciate it when customers reply with manners."

About this time is when I think I went from shaking over confronting someone to realizing I was being watched by everyone around me and in the middle of an argument with a store employee.  I began to tear up not only due to embarrassment, but the overwhelming feeling that this woman has no idea who I am, how I train my children, or how much of my life is spent doing just that.  For goodness sake, it was 2 in the afternoon on a weekday and I was dragging 4 obviously school age children through a crowded grocery store.  Because, I feel it is MY job to train and educate my children and not someone else's.

Trying to hold back the tears, I continued the argument.  "I train my children to have manners.  However, they ARE children, and they don't always remember them.  I'm sorry they didn't say 'thank you' however,  I don't appreciate your telling the rest of the store that I am not doing my job."  And.. the tears began to fall.  At this point a crack appeared in the glossy veneer of this woman's stone face and she said, "I'm sorry if I insulted you.  Thank you for training your children, good job and keep it up!"  Ya, about four arguments too late she listened to me and saw that she had indeed crossed a boundary that was inappropriate for a food sampler to cross.  Her job is to offer samples to sell product for her employer, not correct ill mannered children through humiliation.

Through my tears I said a final, "You never know what people are going through and you should try and be more understanding."  Then turned, gathered my chicks and walked a few aisles away where I cried and snotted and told my kids that though they knew they should've said thank you, this situation wasn't their fault.  We made our way to the front of the store picking up the few other groceries we were in need of, and by the time we got to the registers I was back to simply shaking uncontrollably.  I asked to speak to a manager and told him what had happened back at the "egg roll sampling table" with the woman with the British accent.  As  I repeated through more tears, "she doesn't know what people are going through, I am trying my best here".. he stopped me, "Put it out of your mind, it wasn't her place."  He then turned and headed back to talk with Super Nanny.

I paid for my groceries and put my glasses on so my favorite receipt checker, Teddy, wouldn't see me crying and we headed to the car.  My children thanking me for every thing they could think to say thank you for.

I've struggled with whether confronting this woman was the proper thing to do.  Was I being proud?  Was I doing what I accused her of, not thinking about what other people are going through and jumping on them for offending my own code of ethics?  Perhaps she too is going through a rough patch and feels unappreciated (under-de-me-see-ated if you've ever seen Bedtime Stories).  I've asked God to show me how to be more gracious toward those who offend my sensibilities, or attack my children for something that I harp on them about day in and day out.  I see that I went into confronting her "protecting my children" but was really protecting my place as trainer of those children.  Lord help me to be humble, help me to walk in the grace you extend me for offending your sensibilities daily.  May I view others as you view them and not simply see the wear and tear that this life has caused.

I encourage you reader, try and view others not through the lens of who you aim to be, but who've been.  You never know what someone else is going through to cause them to act the way they do.

A Child's View of a Teacher

We've been homeschooling for 3yrs.  My youngest has always been homeschooled, and her brother above her went to just kindergarten at a brick and mortar school.  You would think that I pulled them recently listening to the conversation they had in the car yesterday.

There was a woman with a suitcase walking on the side of the road where we were sitting waiting for traffic to clear from an accident ahead of us.  Annah said, "Look!  That lady is a hobo."  Jesse, obviously irritated with his younger sibling's inaccurate judgement of this woman's residential status replied, "Annah.  Look at her.  She's not a hobo.  She's too pretty to be a hobo.  That's my teacher from kindergarten, Mrs. Kammerzel"  Obviously, one's residential status is dependent on one's beauty.  Annah, trying to prove her memory to be as strong as her big brother's, "Oh right!".  Jesse must have looked closer at the lady because he decided that this woman, though definitely not a hobo, was also not Mrs. Kammerzel.  "That's not Mrs. Kammerzel, she was prettier, like Mrs (insert one of his friend's mom's names).  No, she was even prettier, like Mrs. Knudson."  Annah and he both agreed that she was indeed so beautiful as to not only make it impossible for her to ever be a hobo, but to surpass the friend's mom and reach the same level of beauty as,,, Mrs. Knudson.  Mrs. Knudson is their teacher at their new co-op type school this year.  She is indeed beautiful, and a fantastic addition to our schooling experience! But, she looks NOTHING like Mrs. Kammerzel who was.. a mousy little woman with little patience for Jesse and ultimately, one of the major reasons I pulled him from brick and mortar school.

Why does this precious jewel of a boy have such fond memories of a woman who didn't have the patience to  properly learn his needs and teach him in a fashion that would help him grasp the information.  This woman who told the rest of the class, "Ignore Jesse.  He can't focus, and so we are just going to ignore him." ???  I honestly don't understand it, but I pray that it isn't something lost in his recollection of me and that my shortcomings as mother and teacher will not be what he remembers.  I pray that instead of memories of all of my warts, he'll see me as lovely because he's looking at me through my love for him.

After sitting and thinking on how much his two teachers looked alike, he added, "She looked just like Mrs. Knudson, except her nose had freckles on it.. it was really cute."  Oh, how he melts my heart!

How A Boy Prepares to Read

When it's reading time, it's best to prepare yourself for the arduous task ahead of you.

You may start by practicing with the basics, such as map reading:

Or, perhaps work on drawing conclusions about text by referring to the pictures:

Maybe get the blood running by tying a rope around your legs and getting some exercises in?

(video for the full effect)

And once you're good and "pumped":

You focus in and read... for about 10 minutes... 

at which time you realize you need to get prepped again!

Wordless Wednesday: Annah in the car through the years

(Not in chronological order, however the first is the latest and the last is the earliest)

               

1-800-FOR-RENT

"Mom?  Can you text with this?", asked Jesse while in apparent deep thought. After trying to figure out why he would think that I said, "No."

"Well, why are there these letters on the numbers?"  I replied, now smiling, "Sometimes businesses will have a phone number such as 1-800-FOR-RENT.  So to dial it you have to push the different keys that have those letters on them."

He sat staring at it for a minute........ "Well, where is the shift button?"

It shocks and amazes me whenever there is this apparent gap in technological understanding.  Not because it is too advanced, rarely because of that.  Usually because it is obsolete.  I think we're going to watch The Brave Little Toaster today, in honor of obsolete technology.

(Tap, Tap) "Is this thing on?"

For two years I've thought about blogging again.  For two years it's seemed overwhelming and scary.  I feel like I've come through a sort of fire that was unseen by many.  Although God definitely was working in my life throughout this period, it was still a fire.  I'm not very good at keeping my "public life" and "personal life" separate, and so I struggled with wanting to blog but feeling I'd overexpose private issues and damage the good work being done by the fire.  I've also re-realized how much I allow self doubt to make me compare myself to others and so fail by not trying.

So, so far we have:
a) I want to blog
b) I'm ascared to blog
c) There was a fire
d) It was refining
e) I overexpose
f) I'm insecure.

As you can see, it's a fun time in my head.

I'm trying to identify the times I want to blog and, am seeing them directly correlating to pretty much every time I update my FB status.  (oversharing habit)  (but FB is even more public than this little blog, so it's easier to remember my boundaries)

I really think my kids are cute, and I think they say pretty cute things.  So, that is what I'm going to try and blog about.  The other stuff is too messy for now, although I do think that I ought to begin journaling so that there is some outlet for my overfilled brain.

So, consider this a warning.  :)  I'm going to attempt to put my FB posts into blog posts instead of inundating my larger viewer base with silly things my kids say and do.  If you want to see and hear about it, check back in.  If you don't, feel free to continue to check out and just pretend that I'm still on hiatus and nothing is going on.

My only regret in this new focus is how out of focus my phone pictures turn out.  Do I really want to lug my camera around to sneak pictures of my cutie patooties?  It's not as stealthy as my iPhone was.  Hmmm, a problem I'm sure I'll find a solution to.  ;)

It's nice to see you again, I hope you'll stick around.  Thank you for your patience as I try and figure out my boundaries, and life in general.

Summer

(A sample of their adorableness)

Enjoying My Kids

Naomi:

She has been a joy these past few months.  Of course there have been moments.  But for the main part.. she is turning into a good friend, helper and mini-me. :)  Such as...

Today she had a well child check.  She was due for 1 booster shot.  She has known this for about a week.  She cried when she first found out.  She has worried about it every day.  Very nearly cursed me (jk) for making the appointment last week.  Finally it came time to go.  She brought her blankie, my 5'3" well developed 11year old.  Her tummy was in knots.  She teared up in the waiting room.  (on a side note, I'm glad I remembered to call my hubby to meet me and watch the other three kids!!!)  We were called back.  She was weighed, her vision was screened and then the traumatic experiences began.

The nurse did the usual questioning.. Naomi answered most of the questions.  We declined all "extra" vaccines.  That still left her with two boosters to be had, one more than she had "prepared" for.  She began to freak.  The nurse explained kids her age do that and then feel silly afterward because it isn't as bad as they think it's going to be.  She said that she would use a topical numbing spray first.. and that Naomi should barely even feel it.  Ya, that wasn't believed.  The nurse went to get the stuff.  Naomi began her "Mommy, mommy, mommy"s... She returned.  Naomi started crying.  I was instructed where to stand, where to place my hands, one in front of Naomi's face so she didn't see.  Oh dear.  Naomi pushed and pulled and, "Wait, Mommy, WAIT!".. The nurse showed her how the spray made her hand feel.  The tears continued.  Her arm was cleaned and sprayed.  "Mommy!"  The nurse gave her the first shot.  Her whole body was tense.  She held her breath. "There, that one's done." the nurse proclaimed. Naomi re-freaked..but in a different way.  "What? That's it?  Oh, I'm a dork"..the second was administered, "really, I'm done?".. Then Naomi was laughing and proclaiming, "I could've done more!".... Sigh, my childhood drama is haunting me.  The physical was humiliating and she didn't like it.  She "really appreciated" being told to stay away from drugs and alcohol.  I really appreciated the doctor not going into "other" ways she needed to "stay safe".  This mommy isn't ready for THAT to be brought up by a doctor!

Jesse:
Man this kid has a hard time with Language Arts.  He CAN do it. It's just getting him to believe he can.  Today was a particularly hard day.  He cried.  He tore his papers.  But, he got it done.  Just in time for daddy to be home.  We sat and talked about his time in school.  Encouraging him that he is doing a good job and can do it!
 Then we talked about gymnastics starting tomorrow.  All of the kids are going.  Jesse said he is hoping they don't make him  do cartwheels.  He said, "I'm too old for them".  Which he quickly followed with, "Remember Winnie the Pooh, I still like him".  :)  "Remember the first one, the movie that Maga has?  I like that when he sings."  So of course I broke out in the "Little Black Raincloud" song.  He sat on the table listening, smiling.  I finished.  He sat there smiling staring at the floor.. a couple minutes later he jumped down and said, "Ok, bye, I'm going to Brett's.  See you at 5!".. Such a funny little guy.

Ethan:
This child.  He captures my heart, and breaks it the most often.  He'll be a strong man.  We're learning how to focus his "stubborn" and "emotional" outbreaks into teaching moments.  Moments to lead him instead of tear him down... it is a big job, but we're believing the promise that it will be worth it!
On the other hand, he is the jester of the house.  It is amazing to see him growing and changing and his sense of humor doing the same.  He makes me laugh.. sometimes I have to hide it!
Sunday we were driving into the hills outside of Estacada to find a good spot for some shooting.  We were having a birthday party for Jesse and he wanted to take a pinata and the new gun and shoot it up!  SO, we were scouting.  As we got higher into the hills.  There was snow.  Ethan pipes up from the back, "Master, there is a lot of snow here.  Are you sure it is safe.".. in a Dug the dog from UP voice.. it was hilarious.  I wish we had a recorder that knew when the kids said something funny.. because that was just one of the MANY things he said.  He often stops working and just dances around.  He is just fun.  I love him.

Annah:
Oh dear.  Where to start.  She's my baby.  She's sweet.  She's feisty.  She's funny.  She's TOO much!
Every day is day that I could write a post about her.
Today, she lost a tooth.  Not by her hand.  By her father's.  It was loose.  Too loose.  It was so loose it was brown and maybe her breathe hadn't smelled right for a week.. blech.  So, it was Daddy to the rescue.  After chasing her with a hammer and pliers, he held her on his lap and used a paper towel to hold on.  Then there was blood.  Then there was more "chasing".  Then she sat back down, "crying".  I distracted her by taking pictures.  Then.. it was out.  She was better.  Making funny faces with her toothless smile.  She practiced somersaults into a bridge, for gymnastics tomorrow.  She sat on my lap for a finger clipping.  She sat at my feet to get a neck rub.. for about 2 minutes.  She danced to music... on the movie the rest of us were watching during this whole time of Annah-ness.  She is an attention getter... that girl.  She's craziness wrapped up in a little body of perfected baby childness.  Sigh.